The fear experiment

Examine the situation.

Fear to me is intangible. It is anxiety. It is tension. It is the realization of a horrible, unavoidable truth. It is several things. It’s also the lack of certain things, like acceptance…understanding…and hope.

Formulate an experiment.

My experiment was to draw myself and to see what I see. So to start with, I just drew.without thinking. Then I noticed certain tendencies that I had, and elaborated them. Making them more exaggerated. And the end result was in the post below.

Hypothesize the expected outcome.

I thought I would get the traditional…”oh you don’t have to worry about that,” or just a general dismissal of the issues. Like they weren’t really founded. Although not in a way that Implies judgement, but more as in what a friend would tell you. Like what you want to hear.

Conduct the experiment.

I stood up in class. I spoke my piece, much like the explanation above, then listened.

Observe the reaction.

People in class elaborated more off of what I told em and told me what they saw in it. Things I hadn’t intended per se but were there none the less in my own representation of myself. There were certain boosts to my confidence, like comments of courage for putting myself out there and doing something as personal as a portrait, even if it was modified.

Analysis of hypothesis with actual outcome.

I expected the comments on the observations I proposed, like the fattening of my face and the…unhappiness of sorts while studying my reflection, albeit they were about inconsequential things.

Propose changes to your idea based on what happened.

I think that I would do several portraits. Each with a different goal. A cartoon:to show exaggerated features. An abstract: to show expression, especially with colors. The realistic one: to represent my self Image.

The most impacting fear experiment was the religion one. Zac lost a friend because of beliefs and assumptions. The conversation everyone had was touching, and gave me hope in us as the human race. People listened. They elaborated, responded and had an open mind. It was in itself..beautiful.